Cleaning and scrubbing will wait ’till tomorrow, but children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow. So quiet down cobwebs! Dust go to sleep! I’m rocking my baby. Babies don’t keep. – Ruth Hamilton

Sunday, January 27, 2013


I have so much I should be of Lincoln growing and Avery trying new things, but all I can do is be sad. My heart is breaking for my son-my baby-my child. Right now, I'm too sad to write, but here I am writing about my sadness. Through this whole experience I want to document what we are feeling... It's not good. It's not fun. And it just SUCKS SO BAD!!! Why? Why us? Why our family? We do nothing but good!! Damn! I want to start over and be crazy three kids under three. Not crazy family with a sick child. I want to know how we will overcome such emotions, such stress, such madness! For us... All we want is more... More of everything. More people surrounding us that we want to say, "GET AWAY!!!" I want that. I need that! I know for sure I don't want to be alone in this journey! This is stuff you read about, not stuff you go through! Nothing matters anymore. Anger towards more for me! Mack matters! Mack needs me! Mack needs more! This week my goal is to get back on track. I want to go back work and have my happy place:)we shall Know more soon... Okay I needed a moment to grieve and I want others to know its okay to do so!

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